Superstitions are weird. It doesn’t matter where you’re from or which ancient god demands your blood: We treat our superstitions with equal parts embarrassment and reverence. And really, what’s the harm in that? So you throw a little salt over your shoulder or handle that mirror more gently... You’re just taking precautions! It’s like buying life insurance!
Well, no, it isn’t. Because while you are statistically guaranteed to die at some point, it is slightly less likely that...
1) Clipping your nails at night invokes the dead.
I’m not going to lie: I have been fighting temptation to try this one out. I mean, worst case scenario, I end up throwing a spa night with the ghouls. I figure we’ll braid each other’s hair, gush about Channing Tatum, maybe send a flirty text to the undead’s crush... all in all, a delightful Saturday night.
2) Wearing an untidy moustache causes bad luck.
Poor hipsters. Who knew what kind of angry discrimination they’d have to face, what with their ironic suspenders and terrible, terrible musical tastes. Really, China – you’re better than this.
3) Pointing at the moon makes your earlobes fall off.
4) Putting dog eye juice on your face lets you see ghosts.
I’ve been on ghost tours everywhere from San Francisco to New Orleans and have yet to meet even one measly eternally damned soul doomed to wander the Earth forever. If I had known all it took was a touch of canine eye drippings, I would’ve smuggled my Yorkie into United Airline’s overhead compartment.
5) Hitting someone with a broom means years of bad luck (for the hitter).
Does that mean I have to quit the IQA team?
6) Sensing “unclean” spirits causes babies to cry.
I hate babies. Well, maybe “hate” is too strong a word – I just want all children acting out in public to be lightly tasered... Yeah, OK, “hate” was better.
7) Dreaming about teeth or snow means your parents are dead.
In many countries, watching Snow Dogs is tantamount to manslaughter.
8) During New Year’s, don’t sweep floors, close windows, buy shoes, borrow books, or carry pointy things.
From what I understand, this has something to do with the Cantonese translation of those words sounding similar to other ones (Like if you tried to win the lottery by doing... erm... pottery? I’m not good at examples.). People take this deadly serious – to the point they keep brooms under lock and key – and not even the younger generations are willing to take the chance.
These superstitions may just be a small piece of the Old World, but they are one that fortunately refuses to die. And you don’t even need animal eye goo to witness.
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